Author: Akshay

Intuitive Living

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Intuition

To living a life,

With a new, more evolved mind.

A mind that thinks clearly,

A heart that’s open to new experiences.

A spirit that embraces change,

A vision that’s dynamic and optimistic,

And beautiful and inspiring.

For fulfilling the soul.

A charged life force,

Raring to go,

Through the unknown.

To a place unseen,

To new perspectives,

To new endeavours,

While being in the flow,

Enjoying every moment,

Smiling through the highs and lows,

Living the journey,

Consciously, Intentionally,

Yet Flexibly,

Without worry,

Leaving behind what’s happened,

Looking ahead to the new,

Together, yet alone,

Alone, yet together.

Building new and interesting relationships,

Friendships that are truly meaningful,

With anyone and everyone,

Feeling richer and richer,

Enriched by experiences.

A fullness within,

Taking full advantage of being human,

Doing what I’m meant to do,

In my time here,

Being clear, undisturbed,

Being inclusive,

Yet independent,

Being my own best friend,

A champion at heart,

Having strength,

A gentle courage,

Absorbing the essence of nature’s gifts,

Using my instincts,

Following my intuition,

For the good of myself and those around,

Living with love.

Living with joy.

Living in peace.

With a sense of belonging,

A sense of knowing from deep inside.

A magical confidence,

That surpasses the superficial.

And transcends the see-able.

A compassionate temperament,

With a brave soul,

A natural cheerful demeanour,

Unshakeable,

Building true courage,

For being able to face anything, calmly,

Always,

Dancing to the beat of my drums,

Tapping into the energy that’s uniquely mine,

Remaining true to my rhythm,

Singing along to the song I was meant to sing.

To intuition over logic,

To meaningful living over superficial living.

 

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The Best Kind Of Help…

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There are a ton of ways to help people.

And you can never be sure which one is the best way to help them.

Someone might need food, you could buy them food. Someone doesn’t understand how to solve a problem, you can help them solve it. And so on..

But, again, what’s the best kind of help? What’s the best way to help someone who needs food? What’s the best way to help someone who has a problem but doesn’t know how to solve it?

 

I had a brief, but meaningful thought about ‘the best kind of help’. I think there are 2 main kinds of help:

Type 1: When you help someone based on what you think they need, utilizing your abilities to help them.

Type 2: When you help someone help themselves.

And there are other types too:)

Type 1 is needed a lot of the time, as there are things we all need help with that we have no idea about. Ideally, the person seeking help is crystal clear about what it is they need help with! This takes time to figure out too:) But it’s a lot easier for someone who wants to help you to know what you need help with.

In all humility, I think things can go awry with type 1 help, particularly in deeper, more personal matters. Someone helps you solve a problem you have, and that’s it, the ‘help’ is delivered. The person being helped gets the help they need, and move on. But they still remain ‘helpless’ in the matter they were helped with. For example, if someone didn’t know how to cook pasta, you could cook pasta for them to help them, but that person still doesn’t know how to make pasta!! They’ll continue to ask you for your help in making pasta. This kind of help creates a dependence between the person who is helping and the person who received the help, leading to an unhealthy relationship in the long term.

Type 2 is when you help someone help themselves. All the answers to all our problems (well, most of them) lie within us. So if you really want to help someone, why not help them help themselves, and solve their own problem, based on the insights and answers they have within themselves? That creates zero dependence and also leads to a more mutually beneficial outcome in the long run.

So basically, if your friend doesn’t know how to make pasta, don’t just always make the pasta for them. But, help them learn how they could learn to make pasta, and they’ll probably appreciate you more for it, having learned something new. Unless of course, they’re OK with never learning how to make Pasta and are happy to be ‘blindly lead’ by your help!

We all need a combination of Type 1 & Type 2 help but with Type 1, it would be in everyone’s favour if the helper declared by they’re delivering Type 1 help so the helper and the helped are in sync!

So: Help yourself, help another, help yourself help you, seek help to help yourself better and you’ll feel a lot more helpful than helpless!

Disclaimer: Don’t put yourself in jeopardy while trying to help. Look after yourself!

 

 

 

 

The Creative Adult Is The Child Who Survived

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I happened to read an interesting quote. This one caught my attention as it’s so true, yet so unnoticed, so ‘un-practised’ in practice.

The quote says “The Creative Adult Is The Child Who Survived.”

 

I find that it’s so true. When we’re younger, we’re most in touch with our most authentic self. Our emotions are natural, and they’re the purest when we’re young.  (even though they need to be channelized correctly, hopefully by someone who knows how to channelize them in a constructive way).

As we’re growing up, people around us try to influence us in their own way. By being who they are, they influence the children around them, unknowingly, by default. The words they speak, the way they interact, and the things they tell the children around them, all play a part in determining how we’re being ‘shaped’ by them.

Most adults, be it parents, teachers, wives of husbands, bosses etc. want to tell you how to do what you should do. Most adults use this as a way to ‘vent’ and ‘speak out’ and sometimes “puke out” what they want to say, only because they want to say it. They’re not facilitating the child to blossom, but “TALKING AT” the child because they think they’re more experienced adults ‘who know better’ and ‘have seen the world’ and know how ‘it’s always been done’.

This is the saddest thing that can happen, especially if the child/children are perpetually around adults wanting to influence or ‘talk at’ them. Unknowingly, or knowingly, they start to kill the child’s soul, causing a massive disconnect between who the child really is, who the child thinks he or she is, and who the child ends up becoming.  They feel like they’re in a position of power over children, so they lash out at them, verbally and psychologically, and sometimes physically (even something small like a slap, especially when it’s unnecessary and there are better ways of addressing misbehaviour). Some children stay unconscious about how they’ve been influenced, right through until later, when they’re adults. And some adults still don’t realize how they’re being influenced or have been influenced. They just continue to be influenced, not having developed their ‘authentic self’ and finding ground in who they truly are. This lost ‘sense of self’ has major repercussions in later years, as the world, and it’s ways, continue to influence the adult who’s inner child hasn’t been nurtured, watered and cared for. The clever folks in the world often sees this and takes further advantage of the ‘not so sure’ adult.

This blog article is a reminder to all adults, parents, teachers, wives, and other folks out there. Please check yourself in front of children who are looking up to you and viewing you as their guiding light. You are influencing them by not just saying things to them, but by being who you are, in FRONT of them. Do not influence them with what you know (unless it’s timeless wisdom) but facilitate them into blossoming into the truest, most honest expression of themselves. If they express a curiosity for something, help them explore it. If they smile, encourage it. If they’re quiet, ask them why. If they’re not so sure about something, ask them what would help them. If they need help, ask how they’d like to be helped. Never ASSUME you know them and how they should be treated. Never think you’re ‘higher’ or better than them because they’re not fully developed, successful human beings just yet. DON’T MAKE THEM NUMB. If you really think about it, they’re far closer to who they really are, than you are, and have a fresh pair of eyes. See them as flowers to be nurtured, as energies to be channelized into doing what they’re best at given their strengths and talents, as perfection personified who may or may not need to be ‘fine-tuned’ into becoming a little less perfect to survive and thrive in this imperfect world. Just let them be who they are, and help if you can. They’ll be more creative, more fulfilled and more effective as adults!

 

 

 

The ‘Odd-Even’ Days

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Hello:)

Just thought I’d share my experience Delhi’s Odd-Even days. For those who don’t know, the Delhi State Government in India introduced a new ‘Odd-Even Policy’ to bring road traffic under control. Basically, cars with odd registration numbers can drive on odd days and vice versa, you get the idea. I think the policy is a copy of a policy originally initiated in the Phillipines, not sure. Ha ha 🙂

I’ve been fortunate enough to be given a car to drive (even though I just hate using it for personal reasons) that has an ‘odd’ number. So I can drive on an odd day. But I wasn’t so happy about the ‘odd-even’ policy on even days, when I’ve had to walk 2 Km from my house to catch local public transport or an auto (3 wheeler cute and compact, open air taxi). In the burning heat of Delhi, it’s really not that pleasant! I mean, the whole Odd-Even thing is great for reducing traffic, and I support it fully, but it does suck big time for transport convenience at times.

But then I thought, is it really that bad? I mean, at least I was getting some exercise. And just then I had an idea when I looked around me.  I mean, there were all these people around me driving motorbikes, I’m sure someone would be willing to give me a ride! So I tried to call out to a few people. And yep, was pleasantly surprised to see people EXTREMELY willing to help and offer me a lift. I haven’t had to walk on a single ‘even’ day, thanks to the help extended out by some motorcyclists on each day. Good to see some ‘DIL WALLAS’ in Delhi! They still exist!!!!!!!!!! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! 🙂

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I started a little Facebook group to encourage people to form carpools. Check it out by clicking here. Noone’s really formed any carpools on it..EPIC FAIL! BUT, I’m using it to share my experience, and also share that there’s still some ‘Dil’ left in this pretty despicable, yet vibrant and happening city.

I used to hate even days, but now I like them in the spirit of asking for a little help and expressing gratitude, and being amazed at the warmth and openness extended out by people in a pretty stressed out city.

Individualism

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Today I am going to write about hot models on the beach…. sun bathing on sun kissed sands. A story about how these models came to be their hot selves and what you can do to woo them and have them swooning over you.

Just kidding. I am actually going to write about some thing more sexy- Individualism. 

This post is based on 1 of my favorite books and movies of ALL TIME- The FOUNTAINHEAD. I don’t intend to become a ‘wise geek’ or a ‘knowledge giver’, but such philosophies help shape my thinking and writing about them gives me deeper insights and more clarity.

The fountainhead is a story of one man’s struggle to express his individuality and be fundamentally free. I would like to place special emphasis on the expression –Fundamentally Free. This man’s name is Howard Roark, a revolutionary architect, a man of integrity, a man of vision and the epitome of individualism and independent thinking. In this story, Howard seeks to break the old and create the new. He had a gift, of designing buildings that were revolutionary in design. When the world had buildings and structures with a conventional and orthodox design, Howard wanted to create skyscrapers with a modern and contemporary façade. This sounds like standard practice today, but it is more about his ‘way of thinking’ over the architectural aspect of the story.

During Howard’s quest for creating skyscrapers in the middle of old style buildings and gothic architecture, he faced several obstacles. But he stayed true to his vision and true to himself. He didn’t express anger towards those who despised him, because he paid no heed to their doings. He did not compete with them, because he knew he was the ‘creator’. And creators create while parasites copy. He was unstoppable, because he thought nothing of them. He just continued to do his work. Howard Roark did not want financial freedom. All he wanted was to be true to his art and he wanted to be able to live for him self. He did not live to please others, he did not live to be famous, he did not live for anything or anyone but his art and himself. Extreme Individualism.  

 

There were many other characters in the movie, like:

  1. Peter Keating: Peter Keating was another architect who was at the opposite end of the spectrum of individualism, basically, anything but individualistic. He followed the social norm of architecture, sucked up to people all the time, he chased fame & success and in the process lost his own judgment and his own sense of individualism.
  1. Gail Wynard: Gail was the rich tycoon in the movie. He did not seek Fundamental freedom, but wanted Financial Freedom. As the owner of a big media publication, he fulfilled the ‘market need’ to fuel his financial success. The market decided his success. So he hired people who helped him shape the public opinion, in order to serve public needs.
  1. Elsworth Toohey: The orator, who was against individualism. He wanted to stop Howard, and aroused people against him. He wanted to use men as ‘tools’ to serve society, and not have them live for themselves.
  1. Dominique Francon: The hot babe in the movie, who wanted true love with a man of integrity, Howard, but was too afraid that society would not accept Howard, and so chose to live ‘safely’ compromising her desires to a large extent, until the end, when Howard was successful.Individualism

It was interesting to see Howard’s attitude towards each of these characters and how he dealt with each one. Personally I think individualism is great but extreme individualism is not healthy or sustainable. However, one cannot be the same as everyone else, because being like everybody is the same as being nobody. At the end of the day, life is a balancing act!

 

 

 

 

Why did God send me to this Planet?

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Why did God send me to this Planet?

I believe in God. I also believe and feel, deep in my heart, that I have been sent to this planet, for a reason, for a reason bigger than myself, for a mission to impact the world around me positively, fearlessly, with passion and a genuine desire to make a difference. For some, this may sound fluffy, but I believe, that it is important to believe, and for me that belief is firmly rooted in the power of the divine.

I believe that God is one. And while I am certainly not a religious or ritualistic person, I consider myself deeply spiritual. It is faith that spurs you to take actions that others won’t take, or go down roads that others would think twice about. The stronger your faith, the higher your propensity to go down such paths. Of course, God, at the end of the day, only helps those who help themselves, and it would be sheer stupidity to go out looking for trouble or looking for risk, with the hope that God will come save us. You can’t drive a car, lift your hands off the steering wheel and think God will come save you from an accident. You still need to drive the car, and keep your hands on the steering wheel!

I thought about WHY I exist and why God sent me to this planet. Someone once told me, the 2 most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you figure out why. And while I don’t yet have all the answers, and life is a journey, I believe I have been born to solve problems, add value to the world, do something innovative and have fun along the way. Why live just to exist? Why live just to make a living? Life can be far more exciting and fulfilling.

To anyone reading my blog, I would love to share a few ways of making your life more meaningful, and hear your perspective too.

“Where there is doubt, build faith. Where there is despair, foster hope. Where there is divide, breed unity. Where there is hatred, spread love. And just do stuff!”Purpose

I hope to have a meaningful, prosperous, fulfilling and exciting life. I wish the same for you.

Commitment

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Commitment requires one to be intentional about committing. It is a strong decision and requires courage and discipline. The reason why commitment can be hard to develop, is because we do not necessarily have all the information to make an informed decision to commit. This is because our brain is generally hard wired into minimising risk, and only making a decCommitmentision when we have all the information. However, in the real world, where we don’t always have all the information, this approach only breeds inaction.

On some reflection, I wanted to understand why we don’t always commit and how we can develop a mindset to commit. The things that stop us from committing to a certain path, business idea or life partner is uncertainty, a lack of self belief or a fear of committing to the ‘wrong’ path. But isn’t uncertainty always present around us? In the fast paced world we live in, where nothing is permanent, each act of ours carries with it a certain amount of uncertainty and risk. The trick is to understand the uncertainties and risks associated with a certain path, and commit when the upside could potentially be a lot greater than the downside. One should always ask, “whats the worst that can happen?” and ALSO ask ‘Whats the best that can happen?” when taking a course of action. Such questions allow us to commit to a certain action without necessary having all the information.

Without committing to a certain path, nothing gets done. To achieve something and do it well, you need to go all in, with all your heart. Whether it is a relationship, a business idea, a career path, whatever. Commitment is a sign of strong character and an ability that must be developed to make the best of life, and ensure we make decisions and move forward in life.

Living in the Moment

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Improv

I have been doing improvisation for a while now, and the best thing I have learnt from it is living in the moment. You’re probably wondering what improvisation is. Improvisation is the process of creating a scene with other actors, spontaneously. That’s correct, no scripts, no preparation, just go up on stage and build a scene from scratch! It’s like a form of art.

It might sound really basic, but the key to good improv is active listening. Most of the time, we don’t really listen, we start thinking of the ‘next thing to say’ in our conversations. We have pre conceived notions about what the other person will say. All this detracts from good quality conversations, and of course good improv. Active listening is when we wholly and truly listen to what the other person/actor is saying. This means that every cell of our being, is listening and absorbing what the person is saying. In improv, what the other person says is an ‘offer’ and it is up to us to accept that offer and build the scene from there.

Another key concept is ‘happy failure’. We were made to throw a ball at each other and asked to deliberately miss the catch. We were then applauded for missing the catch and praised for failing. The whole idea behind this is that it is OK TO FAIL! Improvisers fail several times, but the best improvisers move on quickly and create something new.

I have many interesting things to write about improv, and in my coming few blog posts, I will talk about the specific activities we do in improv that have helped me live more in the moment.

Pay As You Feel

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photo 4 (1)

I have been Volunteering at Lentils as Anything, a Not for Profit restaurant that has the most amazing food ever. The food is made and served with love, and the best part- You Pay as you Feel.

I got thinking about the concept of ‘Pay as you Feel’ and how it can apply to business. Clearly, it relies on trusting customers to pay what they think the food is worth. The risk is that a customer pays $0, which happens all the time at a restaurant like Lentils.

I suggested a way to the Founder of Lentils, Shanaka Fernando, to optimise the potential of a ‘pay as you feel’ approach to business. There are 3 main ways of improving a customers willingness to donate:

a) Combining a Pay as you Feel Pricing Model with a Charitable Cause: This approach has been tested and documented in the book ‘Freakonomics’ where it was found that donating a certain amount of profits to a charitable cause and educating customers about this improved their willingness to contribute money.

b) Staff Members should educate customers about the values of the organisation and the ‘Pay as you Feel’ concept. It needs to become a habit, just like at McDonalds Staff members always ask ‘Would you like fries with that?” This can be done in a friendly and hospitable manner.

c) Not for Profits like Lentils can be transparent about their financial situation. This makes customers aware about the organisations financial successes and failures and induces them to donate to support the cause of the organisation, if they truly believe in it.

While the pay as you feel pricing model is clearly a risky one, it can offer significant benefits to a new start up, as opposed to offering discounts which can often be perceived negatively by customers. It might work particularly well in cases where you are a brand new start up, trying to win the trust of your first few customers, and later charge them when they become actual longer term customers.

It is certainly an interesting concept and one that intrigues me.